Spent a day in Cathedral City trying to sort out some details of what I might be able to do on my sabbatical. There is a tension between trying to do something that I would like to do and something that is helpful to the research group that I am joining. It is clear that the lab will be busy this summer which will be good for developing a research culture but will also strain resources and restrict availability of materials and equipment. Dr. J says that there will be room at the bench for me (what I want to do) as long as writing papers is the number one priority (what I need to do). I am still entangled with The University in the Wildwood but that is quickly resolving. The focus right now is "combat literature reading" to get myself back into some level of research literature engagement for preparation of the paper at Winterpeg later this month.
The drive back and forth was peaceful and this morning the River was so high it was close to the bank edge but so quiet and peaceful that it looked still even though it was ripping along. The trees are just starting to bud, the farmers are working the higher sandy fields that have drained in the hope that the spring flood has crested. I miss the cycle of planting with hope, working with determination and harvesting with joy (the best way to mark time). Another day and a lifetime ago.
This must be what a student feels like.
3 comments:
If you need help typing those papers, I know a good typist ;)
btw, Happy Birthday. I sent you an e-card, but I only have your university address, so I'm not sure you got it or not. Happy Anniversary also because if you didn't get the first card, there's no point in me sending a second. I hope you have a great year!! It sounds like it might be off to a good start...
Thanks for the message and the e-card. Once again you were the only person outside of my family that noted the day.
I don't know. There are parts of my intellect that are so corroded when it comes to research that I feel pretty inadequate for what I have to do both in the short term and long term. I guess that is why I am on sabbatical.
Thanks for the good wishes. I hope your plans come together for the fall.
I have a research idea, but it's most likely outside the realm of your studies... I'd like to study how our social systems have thrown a wrench in Darwin's theories of natural selection and survival of the fittest. I spend so much time looking at people (generally patients that walk through the door) and wonder how the heck they've managed to survive thus far! I'm not sure how you would research that exactly, but I bet it would be interesting!!?? haha..I guess you're not a Biologist though, so probably not an adequate research idea!
My intellect feels almost entirely corroded I think. I miss being forced to string two intellectual thoughts together. Perhaps research is exactly what you need to feel less corroded and more adequate. I'm sure you'll come up with something!
My dreams for the Fall are still uncertain, once again hinging on the commodities of my life, and once again, existing without the familial support I'd pay to have. The response is not at all unexpected, but it is still entirely disappointing. It's funny how one person's approval of your life can raise you above clouds or bring you to your knees in seconds. I can analyze it over & over again, and yet I can't control my response to it. Anyway, the dream is still alive, flapping on the ground gasping for breath, but I still try to keep it alive until all stones have been turned. June 30th will be my final decision date. I'll keep you posted.
Cheers.
PS: I harbour a lot of anger & resentment. Does it show? ;)
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